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I'm talking about you." Me? But...but -" No buts, Carl thinks it would be fun if you started wearing one of thosepregnancy bellies. They're made of silicone and you strap them aroundyour waist. He likes to see a woman that he's having sex with sporting aswelling belly, and you're it. He's dumped enough cum down your throat tobreed an army. It's time you got with the program and became pregnant."I was dumbfounded and just looked at her wordlessly."I've already ordered the 3-4 month bump. Did it this morning on Amazon.It should be here on Monday. You'll be wearing it fulltime from now on.After two months we'll swap in the 5-6 month bump, then the 7-8 monthbump, then the 9-10 month about to give birth bump. We'll have to buy newclothes to accommodate each stage of your pregnancy. I'll want to paradeyou around the neighborhood. What will the neighbors think about that?They're going to be very confused. If they ask, you must tell them Carlis the father. I think at some point we'll have to. I don’t dig the dirt, don’t look for trouble, just try to find people and things that readers of local magazines will find interesting.That’s why I was at this press conference at a trade show in a fancy hotel (or resort, as they like to call them here). It was a showcase for the island’s travel industry and a networking opportunity for local businesses. There were hotels and guest houses, restaurants and quirky little operations like a vegan couple pushing their lifestyle and a micro-brewery. And there was me, not having paid for a stand, but using my roaming correspondent status to get talking to people.I had a wallet full of business cards, my own diminishing and other people’s increasing in number, and the list of potential little stories was looking good.The press conference was to feature bigwigs from the tourism board and the director of the airport.As usual, I had got there early, which was just as well, because there was no parking in this resort and we were all blithely.
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